Power Rankings
- Michigan – The Wolverines’ cupcake schedule continues, yet they still complain about a self-imposed suspension.
- Penn State – The Nittany Lions have done more than enough to move up, as they average about 50 points per game.
- Ohio State – The Buckeyes haven’t put up more than 40 points against two feeble opponents.
- Iowa – I’ll be very scared if the Hawkeyes don’t score 25 points this week.
- Minnesota – The Gophers may technically be golden, but their record is of the fool’s variety.
- Maryland – The Terrapins should pull a UCLA and put tarps over some of their seats.
- Michigan State – The Spartans squashed the Spiders but will be without their head coach for the foreseeable future
- Wisconsin – Remember the days when people were saying the Badgers were good?
- Rutgers – Honestly, the Scarlet Knights are born to run at the speed of mediocrity. Now that’s some bad medicine.
- Purdue – The Boilermakers won at Virginia Tech last week only because “Enter Sandman” doesn’t hit at 2:30 p.m.
- Illinois – The Illini rolled over against Kansas last week and are starting to embarrass the Big Ten.
- Nebraska – Cornhusker head coach Matt Rhule was definitely afraid of Ralphie the Buffalo.
- Indiana – Remember when the Hoosiers had that Michael Penix Jr. guy? How’s he doing right now?
- Northwestern – They got their first win last weekend. OK, and?
Matchups
SECU Stadium: Virginia (0-2, 0-0) @ Maryland (2-0, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Friday at 6 p.m. on FS1 | Line: MD – 14 | O/U: 49.5
They should dub this matchup as the DMV Derby, with the winner visiting the White House. I just hope the Terrapins don’t plan on traveling to DC on foot, that would take forever.
Memorial Stadium: No. 7 Penn State (2-0, 0-0) @ Illinois (1-1, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 11 a.m. on FOX | Line: PSU -14.5 | O/U: 49
This is the “Big Noon Kickoff” game? More like the “Big Noon Beatdown.” Reggie Bush, Urban Meyer, and the Fox crew will leave Champaign at halftime.
Lucas Oil Stadium: Louisville (2-0, 1-0) @ Indiana (1-1, 0-1)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 11 a.m. on BTN | Line: Louisville -10 | O/U: 53.5
A few years ago, this would’ve been a prime-time basketball game. On the gridiron, the Cardinals will fly past those “Indiana natives.”
Camp Randall Stadium: Georgia Southern (2-0, 0-0) @ Wisconsin (1-1, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 11 a.m. on BTN | Line: Wisconsin -19.5 | O/U: 63.5
Badger fans will jump around trying to forget about last week’s loss to Washington State. I doubt a win over the Golden Eagles will put Wisconsin back in the rankings.
Kenan Stadium: Minnesota (2-0, 1-0) @ No. 20 North Carolina (2-0, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 2:30 p.m. on ESPN | Line: UNC -7.5 | O/U: 49
Tar Heel quarterback Drake Maye might shudder with fear watching the work of a Big Ten West defense, but he will certainly vomit with disgust watching the offense.
Wallace Wade Stadium: Northwestern (1-1, 0-1) @ No. 21 Duke (2-0, 1-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 2:30 p.m. on ACCN | Line: Duke -18.5 | O/U: 46.5
There will be plenty of polo shirts, kakahi shorts, and lacrosse sticks at this game. I have the O/U on the “Do you know who my dad is?“ lines at 50.5.
Kinnick Stadium: Western Michigan (1-1, 0-0) @ No. 25 Iowa (2-0, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 2:30 p.m. on BTN | Line: Iowa – 28.5 | O/U: 43.5
This is the first time this season the Hawkeyes will be on Big Ten Network, and for good reason. Iowa will score at least 25 points in three quarters.
SHI Stadium: Virginia Tech (1-1, 0-0) @ Rutgers (2-0, 1-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 2:30 p.m. on BTN | Line: Rutgers -7 | O/U: 39.5
The Scarlet Knights should have an intro song to get the fans going, just like the Hokies do with Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.” They better choose Bruce Springsteen or Bon Jovi.
Ohio Stadium: Western Kentucky (2-0, 0-0) @ No. 6 Ohio State (2-0, 1-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 3 p.m. on Fox | Line: OSU -27.5 | O/U: 64
Is it just me, or does Brutus Buckeye’s face look like that of a senior citizen when a teenager tells them how to delete an email?
Spartan Stadium: No. 8 Washington (2-0, 0-0) @ Michigan State (2-0, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 4 p.m. on Peacock | Line: Washington -16 | O/U: 57.5
I feel sorry for whichever poor assistant coach has to lead the Spartans against Michael Penix Jr. and that electric Huskie offense.
Memorial Stadium: Northern Illinois (1-1, 0-0) @ Nebraska (0-2, 0-1)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 6 p.m. on FS1 | Line: Nebraska -11 | O/U: 45.5
Those NIU players will be happy that they can leave their dreadful campus in Dekalb and head for the greener pastures of… Nebraska. What a letdown.
Michigan Stadium: Bowling Green (1-1, 0-0) @ No. 2 Michigan (2-0, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 6:30 p.m. on BTN | Line: Michigan -40 | O/U: 51.5
The Wolverines ought to relax, as their head coach isn’t in the actual big house. Besides, I don’t think khakis are part of the prison uniform.
Ross-Ade Stadium: Syracuse (2-0, 0-0) @ Purdue (1-1, 0-0)
Where/when to watch: Saturday at 6:30 p.m. on NBC | Line: Syracuse -2.5 | O/U: 58.5
The Orange have the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible: win on a last-second touchdown, then steal one of those food-delivery robots from the campus.
