Power Rankings
- Ohio State – Don’t worry, the Big House is big, but it ain’t loud.
- Michigan – There’s Michigan gear somewhere in my house. Still haven’t found any matches.
- Penn State – Go beat an actually good team challenge: impossible.
- Iowa – Going to Lincoln, Nebraska, is now more boring than it already is.
- Maryland – I know, you were probably bribed to lay off the comeback. Happens to everyone.
- Rutgers – Props for not getting completely embarrassed at Happy Valley. I’m so proud of this team.
- Northwestern – How on Earth did they get to a bowl game? What used car dealership will sponsor that contest?
- Wisconsin – The “potent” offense can now add a bowl game to the resume.
- Illinois – Uh Bret, you do know about The Wave, right? You don’t get those alumni magazines?
- Nebraska – I couldn’t tell if it won or lost against Wisconsin. Have some uniform variety.
- Minnesota – The Gophers might just hang a banner for beating Iowa,
- Purdue – Get Zach Edey on the field goal unit!
- Michigan State – The Spartans’ season has been a kick to the groin. Looking at you, Draymond.
- Indiana – “And the fan [singular] goes wild!” – Hoosier announcers.
Matchups
Memorial Stadium: No. 16 Iowa (9-2, 6-2) @ Nebraska (5-6, 3-5)
Where/when to watch: 11 a.m. Friday on CBS | Line: Nebraska -1.5 | O/U: 26.5
A nationally-broadcasted game for simple bragging rights, and also a contest where the total won’t exceed 27 points. That is college football at its finest. Fire up those leftovers for a defense and special teams feast.
Ford Field: No. 12 Penn State (9-2, 6-2) @ Michigan State (4-7, 2-6)
Where/when to watch: 6:30 p.m. Friday on NBC | Line: Penn State -21 | O/U: 43.5
Those leftovers don’t taste nearly as good on a Friday night, similar to this game. It will be higher scoring, yes, but an absolute snooze-fest. Plus, it’ll only remind me of the Bears’ choke job in Detroit last week.
Michigan Stadium: No. 2 Ohio State (11-0, 8-0) @ No. 3 Michigan (11-0, 8-0)
Where/when to watch: 11 a.m. Saturday on FOX | Line: Michigan -3.5 | O/U: 46.5
“The Game” should just be a three-game series already. But no matter what the result, each team could both go to the playoff, and each fan base will be armed with an array of excuses.
Ross-Ade Stadium: Indiana (3-8, 1-7) @ Purdue (3-8, 2-6)
Where/when to watch: 11 a.m. Saturday on BTN | Line: Purdue -3 | O/U: 50.5
This one should be played with a basketball instead of a football. Just switch things up a bit. Replace those goal posts with hoops. Field goals are three-pointers. Hire me, BTN.
Memorial Stadium: Northwestern (6-5, 4-4) @ Illinois (5-6, 3-5)
Where/when to watch: 2:30 p.m. Saturday on BTN | Line: Illinois -6 | O/U: 46.5
Who will be the flagship university of Illinois? In one corner, the snobby private school where the quad is devoid of life. In the other corner, a school where you can use a lecture hall as a home theater.
Huntington Bank Stadium: Wisconsin (6-5, 4-4) @ Minnesota (5-6, 3-5)
Where/when to watch: 2:30 p.m. Saturday on FS1 | Line: Wisconsin -2.5 | O/U: 42
Is this even a rivalry? Who is the less mediocre Big Ten school up north? Who has the worst winter? If anything, delay this one until a blizzard hits. I would tune in.
SHI Stadium: Maryland (6-5, 3-5) @ Rutgers (6-5, 3-5)
Where/when to watch: 2:30 p.m. Saturday on BTN | Line: Maryland -1 | O/U: 44
The federal government versus the mafia. A tale as old as time. Some would say it dates back to 1963, but I’ll stop while I’m ahead.
