Big Ten Rankings

1. Ohio State

This week is the first Big Ten West elimination game. Who will be on their way to getting killed by Ohio State? Why is that the question we always have to ask?

2. Penn State

Little brother to Ohio State. Again.

3. Wisconsin

Has anyone checked on Wisconsin lately? Is it okay?

4. Minnesota

IS MINNESOTA ACTUALLY GOOD OR NOT? THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

5. Michigan

Michigan has scored a lot of points as of late, but it’s playing for literally nothing at this point.

6. Iowa

Can Keith Duncan break his season-high of four field goals in a game? I have a feeling we’re about to find out.

7. Indiana

Indiana played Northwestern last week. Let’s not give it too much credit.

8. Maryland

I feel like the turtles have been through a lot in the past two years. That’s what I always see when this comes up, because I don’t care enough to look at how Maryland has been doing.

9. Michigan State

Michigan State and Iowa State should get together and have coffee sometime.

10. Illinois

The Illini are fighting their way up the leaderboard in this very critical ranking system. Hard not to be impressed.

11. Purdue

I was beginning to think that Purdue wasn’t that bad. Thanks, Illinois.

12. Nebraska

There’s always next year, Cornhuskers!

13. Northwestern

So, so bad.

14. Rutgers

See above.

Big Ten Schedule

Purdue at Northwestern

11 a.m. | BTN

Things we learned in weeks nine and 10: Northwestern is very, very bad, and Purdue either isn’t as good as we thought. Or Illinois is better. I’m going with the latter, but I’m thinking the Boilermakers might make a mess of the Wildcats in this one.

No. 5 Penn State at No. 13 Minnesota

11 a.m. | ABC

This is the biggest Big Ten game to date. You can’t change my mind. Is Minnesota actually good? Can it beat the scheduled game and somehow win the West? Can Penn State hold out to face Ohio State while being undefeated? This is exciting.

Maryland at No. 3 Ohio State

11 a.m. | FOX

For the love of football, pair Ohio State up with Alabama or LSU or an actual good team for once. This is getting old, and I’m tired of watching Ohio State put up thousands of points against subpar Big Ten teams. We get it — you’re winning the Big Ten Championship.

Outtake: All Ohio State needs to win this game is a bunch of plastic straws. I’m sorry.

Illinois at Michigan State

2:30 p.m. | FS1

This will probably be the most interestingly bad game that the Big Ten has to offer this week. Michigan State is so average that I forgot it existed, but Illinois? Illinois has launched itself into the spotlight and has nothing to lose. What even is happening?

No. 18 Iowa at No. 16 Wisconsin

3 p.m. | FOX

Cincinnati is the only team that separates Iowa and Wisconsin in the rankings, but I doubt it’ll seem that way in Camp Randall on Saturday. Needless to say, the saying “Hawks by a million” will not be applying here.