Elliot: Mr. Promise goes to Washington, sort of


“We are keeping one promise after another.”

Thus spake Zarathustra, the famous Persian philosopher from 1800 BCE or 1000 BCE or 700 BCE or — well, you get the idea. Sometime back there when people couldn’t afford smart phones, so they didn’t know what year it was.

But no. Wait. Zarathustra didn’t say that. He wrote many things, apparently, about monotheism and the dangers of a hallucinogenic diet, though his Avestan language is a tad difficult to make out after all these years, especially if you don’t know Avestan. It seems apparent he doesn’t write about the evils of jazz affecting the morals of young people, but who knows? About the morals of young people, I mean.

No jazz intended, but “We are keeping one promise after another” was spake, or spoken, in the current vernacular, by the ever-inventive Trumpster himself last week.

No, really. And he was apparently not conjuring the ghost of Marie Le Pen, who is not only not dead, she’s running to become the president of France. Which is also not dead. Yet.

Le Pen, by the way, apparently would like to return France to the glories of the 14th century, which included the Black Death and the beginning of the 100 Years War with Britain. Vive l’escargot.

The Trumpster, meanwhile, probably doesn’t want to return the U.S. to the glories of the 14th century, no doubt because in the 14th century, there was no United States.

Of course, that was 700 years ago, give or take a smart phone. Will there be a United States in another 700 years?

The Trumpster promises there will be. But then, he has also said he’s been keeping promises right and left in these last 100 days or so.

Let’s see. His Trumpness promised to repeal ObamaCare in his first days in office. His proposal did go to Congress, but congressional Republicans turned out to not want to touch such a measure with a 10-meter pole. And they don’t even believe in measuring anything in meters, particularly things they have to touch.

So, zero on that.

The Fabricator-in-Chief also promised to build a wall across the border with Mexico and make Mexico pay for it. So far, Mexico won’t pay for it (what a surprise), and Congress won’t pay for it, either.

So, zero on that.

Maybe the Trumpster could get Mauritius to pay for the border wall. Well, true, Mauritius has no border with Mexico, being an island nation in the Indian Ocean and all.

But his Trumpsterness, given his background in the hurly-burly of New York real-estate development, could point out that Mauritius is an island nation (which the island population is well aware of, so why he would point that out is unclear) and with a little help on the Mexican border thing, he could do a bit about rising sea levels. You know, my border needs scratching, your sea level needs scratching, la-de-da.

Not that I’m suggesting anything of the sort.

But when your legislative record is basically somewhere below the average temperature in Antarctica, lagging well behind former President Obama’s record in his first 100 days, you have to think outside the box. Or, in this case, outside the Oval Office. At least outside the average temperature in Antarctica.

Meanwhile, the Trumpster also promised to destroy NAFTA. Now, he’s talking nice with Canada and Mexico about conversing about the treaty.

Yeah. Mr. Promises.

And, according to NPR, the administration has 556 key positions yet to be filled. That turns out to be the slowest of any recent president. The administration has not submitted nominations for 400 some positions.

Promises, promises.

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