As the parent of nearly four University of Iowa grads, a UI grad myself, and spouse to another UI grad, I was interested, in my rare reading of The Daily Iowan this past week, to see the article of sex advice to a young woman concerning her boyfriend’s behavior. I am saddened to think that young people are not being told the truth about sex.
So here is my attempt:
While you are in your teenage years and 20s, you have the freedom to make many important decisions, many of which will result in lifelong consequences. None of these decisions holds quite the same significance as your decisions concerning sex. You may hate to picture this in your mind, but those of us over 35 years old are alive and well, and many of us are having wonderful sex lives.
It is true: Sex gets better as you get older. I wish for you the same thing, a full and happy life, including great sex. To that end, I would love to give you the following advice:
Save sex for marriage. Sex is not like other things. When you have sex with someone, you are bound to that person in a special way. Decisions to have sex outside of marriage have consequences that last a lifetime. You can never go back, you can never erase what you have done. I am not just talking about numerous diseases and pregnancy, but the mental and emotional side of it. You can never erase from your mind where you have been. It isn’t just a physical act. You can’t check your emotions and mind at the door when you decide to have casual sex.
No matter your past, you can decide today to save sex for marriage.
Pregnancy is the least of what you need to consider today before having sex. Abortion kills unborn children and is never a good option, except to save the life of the mother, and this is rare. Sexual diseases are rampant. According to nursingschools.net, one in four college students will contract an STD while at school, and most of them are without symptoms — they don’t even know they have it.
The decision to have sex outside of marriage today is a potentially lethal and is a lifetime-debilitating choice. You are not just risking pregnancy and catching a serious disease but also lifelong pain and sorrow: venereal warts, herpes, cervical cancer, the heartbreak of infertility. Those who will entice you to have sex will tell lies to you in order to pressure you. Don’t listen to them. Wait for the one who wants to be committed to you for life, and then wait until you are married.
Enjoy your time being single, develop your relationship with God, read the Bible, love your family and friends, plan your wedding and a great honeymoon, and save sex for a lifelong marriage.
You will be happy you did.
Sue Bowen is an alumna of the University of Iowa and resides in Iowa City.
