Ah, Iowa and Illinois. Two great Midwestern “I” states that share more similarities than differences. Both are blanketed by a flat expanse of cornfields, combines, and rural roads, with the exception of one small, densely populated section of Illinois — Chicago and its suburbs.
When I came to the UI two years ago from a southwest Chicago suburb, I assumed I would blend in seamlessly with my Hawkeye peers. I barely moved 200 miles from home, leaving one Midwestern state for the next. The idea of conflicting with an Iowan over my hometown seemed ridiculous, if not impossible.
But I soon realized that out-of-staters from the suburbs are often treated like a disease transmitted from across the Mississippi.
To start, we’re too stupid to get into the University of Illinois. We’re rich, and we prefer to spend excessive amounts of money each year for an education in another sleepy Midwestern state instead of staying in our own. We’re sleazy bros and shameless sluts, polluting the UI with our affinity for alcohol and enthusiasm for the 19 bar age. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard from locals.
No doubt, dumbasses from my home state contribute to the stigma afflicting all Illinois students. I cringe every time I hear, “CHI-TOWN, BROSEPH!” or a girl from Lincolnshire insisting that she’s from Chicago. Living within a few miles of a Metra station doesn’t make anyone a resident of Chicago.
But for every half-wit Illinois bro making the rest of us look like uneducated, over-privileged bimbos, there’s a closed-minded Iowan who refuses to let go of his Illinois stereotypes.
A note to disgruntled townies: It’s impolite to roll your eyes at someone’s hometown or to ask, “So you couldn’t get into your own state schools?” It would be equally as rude for me to assume you’re a bigoted hick from Podunk, Iowa, and avoid using words with more than two syllables (so you don’t get confused).
The Iowa City community needs to view its transient Illinois community in a new light. We’re practically neighbors, so let’s keep our discourse friendly.
It’s time for Iowans to pipe down and fully embrace the out-of-state community, never forgetting the $22,198 base tuition many Illinoisans pay to attend this great university. That, compared with a modest $6,824 base tuition for Iowa residents.
So why do suburbanites come to the UI? Proximity is one factor. A three- or four-hour drive from home is manageable, and for some of us, Iowa City is a more aesthetically and academically enticing college town then say, DeKalb or Macomb, Ill.
And yes, some of us even passed up the opportunity to study at Illinois’s flagship, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. ’Burbs kids at the UI are certainly getting the last laugh over our Illini friends (see: University of Illinois clout-list scandal).
Whether you love our out-of-state dollars or detest us for tainting the native-Hawkeye purity of your state, Illinois students have become a permanent Iowa City fixture, at least for now. The first-year class of 2008 included 1,401 students from Illinois — more than half the 2,022 total nonresidents — and just more than 30 percent of the entire incoming class.
Think of our being here as a metaphorical high-five to Iowa City. We love the university, we love the town, and we’ll pay a little (or a lot) extra for it if we have to. Some of us even fund our education with loans and scholarships.
So don’t get it twisted. There are plenty of douche bags from Dubuque and skanks from Spirit Lake.
And yes, many a moron at the UI comes from Illinois. But we’re here to stay, so please, dear Iowan — be a little more cordial. A “thank you” for subsidizing the cost of your tuition wouldn’t hurt, either.
