Beau Elliot
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So there I was, minding my own business, listening to a sports-radio show from Miami, because it was a sloooooow December day, gray as eternity, which is the only excuse for listening to a sports-radio show from Miami. And even then, it’s a thin sapling of an excuse.

Luckily, human beings have a plethora of thin saplings of excuses.

And, of course, because this is the way human beings work, the two radio hosts were yucking it up about winter. Oooh, we’re down to a wintery 71 degrees in South Beach. Clever, you know. Yeah, up here, we have gray December days, but we’re 650 feet above sea level. See ya when the ocean rises, clever guyses.

Anyway, putting global-climate change aside, which is where most people seem to want to put it, apropos of nothing, radio yakker No. 1 started laughing  about his free restaurant meals because he had moved three times in six years in the same neighborhood.

The deal was, each time he moved, this restaurant sent him a gift card, welcoming him to the neighborhood (even though he wasn’t new) and giving him a $50 gift card for a free meal at the establishment.

So the two radio hosts yukked it up, laughing so much about how host No. 1 was taking the restaurant for a free-meal ride.

Then, apropos of nothing, because that’s the way sports radio works,  the two radio hosts moved on to the homeless guy who chills in the alley next to the radio station.

Radio yakker No. 1 complained that the homeless guy that day had a cigarette and a sandwich. Then they both yukked it up again.

Yeah, you got that right. Free-meal guy complained that a homeless man had a sandwich.

What’s wrong with this country? Obama?

Speaking of hypocrisy, why is it that Republicans criticize President Obama for no using enough force against the terrorist organization ISIS when Republicans in Congress refuse to pass a measure for military use of force against ISIS?

Just asking.

I mean, Republicans love to criticize President Obama of not acting with more force against the terrorists, then turn around and won’t give him the authorization to do so.

Of course, Republicans aren’t the only hypocrites. Take Major League Baseball. Commish Rod Manfred has upheld the lifetime ban on Pete Rose for his gambling on baseball. OK, fine. But MLB has some sort of relationship with Draft Kings, a short-term fantasy league in which people all over the nation may gamble on baseball.

And then there are the millennials. According to a Harvard poll, 60 percent of millennials support sending U.S. troops to fight ISIS. However, only 16 percent would volunteer for the military to do just that. Maybe millennials are anti-gun.

I’m not anti-gun, necessarily; I’ve owned a firearm, and I believe in the Second Amendment. But there’s this from the Marshall Project: 554 children, at least, have been killed by gun violence since the Sandy Hook massacre. That took place three years ago, Dec. 14, 2012.

Five hundred fifty-four kids. Eleven hundred eight parents. Thousands of relatives and friends. The gun population in America outnumbers the people population. And a homeless guy has a sandwich. Who knew we could be so clever.

Happy Holidays.