My aunt met her second husband on e-Harmony. Correction: She got engaged to her second husband on e-Harmony. Not two weeks into chatting via the interwebs, she and a trucker from Kansas got engaged without ever meeting.

As it turned out, my newly christened uncle was an alcoholic who once cut his hand off with a butcher knife while he was high. They have been married for seven years.

This is the reason I don’t vote early.

With 39 days before the election, I want to figure out as much as I can about the candidates (like if any of them will continually call me by a woman’s name at family parties) before I have to vote for one of them.

Hordes of people lined up outside the nearest polling place make me want to scream. What if Obama reveals some super-secret plan to tear down the Affordable Care Act? What if Romney decides that he supports civil unions? What if Ron Paul comes back?

I don’t even know what Romney’s foreign policy really is — besides, you know, protect Israel at all costs. Why are we lining up at the voting booths to make a quick decision?

And there are three debates coming up between the two presidential candidates. The electorate has not even breached the potential of either President Obama or Gov. Romney.

This decision is more than Republican or Democrat, progressive or radically right; I honestly believe this election will determine the historical course of the nation for generations. It deserves more than a happy finger on the trigger or an uninformed early voter in the booth.

The time to vote Romney in or Obama out will come. Just take a deep breath, or you might wind up with the one guy with crazy look in his eyes, reaching for a butcher’s knife.