The most noticeable features of Cielo, an Iowa City store owned by Monica Berry, are the bright fairy lights and clothes decorated with fun phrases. Shirts and sweaters reading “Literally just a girl” and “Feminine rising” put the store’s touch of femininity on display.
“This is really a safe place for people to feel cozy and safe and warm and silly, and that’s okay,” Berry said.
The phrase Berry uses on one of her shirts, “Literally just a girl,” is part of the phenomenon that started with the “I’m just a girl” trend. Traced back to 2023 on TikTok, this expression was used by women in a joking way to justify activities that were deemed “too difficult” or to justify why women would act in certain ways.
This later became part of the inspiration for many other girl-related phrases. In May of 2023, Olivia Maher created a video describing what she was eating for her “girl dinner.” This blew up and became a much bigger trend, essentially creating a snack plate on nights when a full meal might seem impossible to make. Within a few months, a myriad of new phrases were introduced, including “snail girl” and “that girl.”
The most popular of these secondary fads was “girl math,” which dates back to a 2015 YouTube video created by As/Is, Buzzfeed’s beauty company. But it was not until TikTok user @mckennaeliana’s video in August 2023 that the phrase was brought back to life.
Although most “girl” expressions have been introduced as a joke or as a way for women to bond over personal experiences, they might not always be used for fun. Ethan Kutlu, an assistant professor at the University of Iowa, said these terms could have negative impacts on women.
“When women say to each other, ‘Oh, that’s so girl math of you that you’re doing this,’ it’s meant to be light and funny. But language never stays in its original context,” Kutlu said. “People will see it, people will take it, people will recreate those videos, and then they’ll start making fun of women.”
Even though these terms are mostly used by women to either take a jab at themselves or connect with others over a silly method of thinking, someone can always use the phrases in a harmful manner. “Girl math” is meant to point out how women rationalize spending money to make it feel like they are not, but instead of being an in-joke, the phrase gets weaponized. It becomes a way to perpetuate the stereotype that women are not good at math.
There are ways to recontextualize these phrases to remove the pointedness. Kutlu said turning them into more of an individual story-telling tool removes most of the ability to turn the phrases into something negative.
“You can make it about yourself. You can make the joke about your own experience,” Kutlu said. “That’s when we can eliminate stigma.”
But this still opens up the possibility of people making things up about the creator’s identity. While “girl” terms might not always be used properly, Berry recognized how they may not need to be changed.
Simply having such a large number of women constantly using these phrases in a positive light drowns out the impact they have when used maliciously.
“I think we just take it back, and we become more powerful,” Berry said. “Then they can’t do anything about it.”
Similar to the impact of Berry’s store, these expressions give women an opportunity to express their inner child and the hidden parts of themselves. These women get the chance to take back many of the things they had given up on in fear of being “too girly.”
“I was always trying to hide my girliness before, and now it’s like I have permission to just be,” Berry said. “Femininity is nothing to be ashamed of.”
Berry quickly acknowledged how much of this came from the “Barbie” movie. The 2023 film became an opportunity for several women to find their way back to the color pink, something that has always been a cultural demarcator of femininity. This is yet another of the many ways women were, and are, able to reclaim their womanhood.
She also said many women today are creating more business than ever before. This is noticeable in downtown Iowa City, with shops like Heim and Yotopia existing among the many local, women-owned companies.
“There’s a different energy in these places, so I think that we’re just being loud and proud about it now,” Berry said.
Kaitlyn Schmidt-Rundell, a second-year student at the UI, related to many of these feelings of not always getting the chance to express femininity.
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“I grew up with a lot of brothers, so having that girly stuff was always harder for me because of my brothers,” Schmidt-Rundell said. “Having ‘girl math,’ it’s easier to get into the fun, silly, girly mindset.”
Even with all the camaraderie behind these phrases that bands women together, there are still many factors that put a damper on them. By using the word “girl” rather than “woman,” many societal norms can be reinforced.
Kutlu said the use of “girl” instead of “woman,” can make women sound lesser. This connects back to the point of women needing to reclaim their womanhood, as it does not allow for them to be seen in a serious or legitmate way.
“There’s that disconnect of, ‘If I label this person as woman, then I’m almost giving the autonomy to that person,’ and society doesn’t want that,” Kutlu said. “So, keeping it as ‘girl,’ it’s fun. It’s less serious. It’s just a ‘girl thing.’”
What seems like a simple change in wording can create a difference in how women are viewed by society. Calling women “girls” does not provide them room to grow up and be seen as adults.
Schmidt-Rundell noted the impact this word switch could have for women in the future. Instead of continuing to force women to stay in this box created by society, it would allow them to be seen as equals quickly. If everyone continues to think of and refer to all women as just “girls,” the chances of progressing in the world decrease.
“So, ‘I’m just a woman,’ it sounds stronger and more grounded, but ‘I’m just a girl’ is light and airy and floaty to me. I don’t know, that’s just how I think about it,” Schmidt-Rundell said. “To me, that’s a positive saying, like that’s just who I am. I’m a woman.”