As the sun sets on my time at the University of Iowa and The Daily Iowan, I feel a steaming casserole of emotions all fighting to dominate my heart. Above all of them, standing proud and tall — is gratitude.

My gratitude goes beyond all the good memories, great articles, and friendships. It also includes the mistakes, embarrassment, and regrets.

In all honesty, I struggled for a large portion of this year. I made plenty of errors and spent a lot of time knowing I could do better.

In all of the sadness that came with that, I don’t want to take back any of it. Mistakes are always disappointing, but knowing myself better is a worthy reward. There are plenty of things I wish I’d done differently, but I’m not too keen on giving up how much stronger and more prepared I feel now.

Most of all, I have learned a great deal about the nature of hope. The wonderful thing about hope is that whether or not you see it, it is always there. When I wanted to give up or felt that I didn’t belong at a place like the DI, hope lifted my head and yelled in my face.

Whether or not you want to see it, it follows you and breathes down your neck. Hope isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel; hope is what keeps you going through the tunnel even when there is no light to be seen.

Hope is not always pretty or charming; often, it’s rude, blunt, and rough. When I felt contempt about getting out of bed in the morning, it was hope that sat me up and brought my feet to the floor. When I felt disappointed in my own work, that disappointment was also hope, based in the belief that I was capable of doing better.

Hope is like a piece of furniture in a dark room. Even if you can’t see it and aren’t looking for it, it sits unwavering, ready to collide with your shin.

The DI gave me all this. The clarity I have now gives me much hope for the future, and it also made me realize that hope was always there, even at my lowest.

I can’t leave without giving a proper thank you to all my colleagues. It was always easy to tell that these are incredibly smart people who are going to do wonderful things in journalism; but as I got to know them, it was equally easy to tell that these are incredibly kind, supportive people, and anyone would be lucky to call them their friends.

Thank you: Sabine, Jami, Natalie, Parker, Jack, Avi, Charlie, Stella, Isabelle, Kate, Cody, Emily, Ayrton, Sahithi, Kenna, Colin, and Matt.

I’d like to give a special shoutout to my Daily Iowan Headliners co-producers, Natalie and Jami, who brought a crazy idea to life and made it better than I imagined, and the visuals team, who made it look and sound so crisp.

I’d also like to give a very special thank you to the opinion writers who worked so diligently and passionately: Aaron, Natalie, Jordan, Kennedy, Shelley, Caden, Alex, and Gabriel.

Thank you, Daily Iowan. It wasn’t always pretty, but it was always worthwhile, and I wouldn’t trade my time here for anything.

P.S. It wasn’t a fair catch.