Today is the first day of the spring 2018 semester at the University of Iowa. For some students, this is their last semester here; for others, it is their first. Regardless of age, we have one thing in common: We all teeter between independence at school and some degree of dependence at home.
Over break, most students traveled home to spend quality time with their families and friends. During this time, students are expected to easily transition back to their high-school life. Parents might enforce curfews or rules that most of us have become accustomed to living without.
But that is just the beginning. Going home means seeing old friends and talking as if you had never spent time apart and connecting with extended family members who just so happened to forget your college major. All the while, our brains are counting down until the day we get to come back to school.
Of course, many students, including me, greatly appreciate being able to see loved ones who are no longer part of our typical everyday lives. Although many college students appreciate being able to take a break from their busy lives, we all know the utopia will soon end. The expectation is that as soon as the holidays are over, college students must return to their lives here on campus. Of course, many students yearn for their freedom, independence, and college friends while at home, but becoming suddenly self-reliant can be difficult.
For most students, the truth of college life is that we are caught in a game of tug of war. We are expected to fit in both in our home environment and in our college environment.
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The fun of college, of course, is to learn your place in the world. We do this through pouring ourselves into student organizations, finding jobs, and, of course, going to class. Our job, on top of graduating, is to find out how we can help the world and ourselves. We must discover our own life goals and what we are passionate about. In order to do this, we must separate ourselves from the ideas, goals, and expectations that others push on us.
I am not saying that going home and receiving love from family and friends is bad. But it can be detrimental to students’ growth in their goals to understand themselves.
I have made it a goal to understand what I am passionate about. My parents have pushed me to go into fields that I did not enjoy, and although it took them a couple of years to accept that I am not destined to be a chemist, they now are able to understand my life goals because I do. But it was difficult to shatter my parent’s dream that I would discover a useful polymer and become a multimillionaire. Until they did, my parents and I got into continual fights about what I was going to grow up to be, which made it difficult for me to focus on figuring my own life out.
Living a double life is difficult. College students are expected to float back and forth between their future and their past. This can be very difficult, but no one on this campus is alone. While this may seem like a small issue, college is a unique and potentially difficult transition period. Counselors at the University Counseling Service recognize this and are there to talk to students about it.