By Beau Elliot
So, let’s see. According to some reports, the FBI is allegedly looking into, probing, investigating (so many verbs, so little thyme for seasoning) Donald Trump’s connections to Russia.
You know, the usual stuff: connections to Russian oligarchs, connections to their banks, a private server somewhere in Trump Land connected only to a computer in an oligarch bank in Moscow (probably just a rumor made up by a person wanting someone, anyone, to have a private server besides Hillary Clinton [Colin Powell, perhaps?]), singing Russian songs in the shower with a not-bad accent, playing kissy-kissy with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
OK, OK. The last two items were satirical. You know these are weird times when you feel the necessity to point out that broad satire is broad satire.
And besides, I don’t ever want to think about the Trumpster in the shower, singing or not. (Does he let his hair get wet? Or is it waterproof?)
But. Sometimes a story pops up about the Trumpster that is so delicious that is just has to be merely a rumor. (Remember the one the Trumpster floated about Sen. Ted Cruz’s father being photographed next to Lee Harvey Oswald before the assassination of JFK? Couldn’t stop laughing for a week.)
As David Corn of Mother Jones writes, Russian intelligence has pursued, has been pursuing, is pursuing a connection with Trump. Corn cited a former spy from an unnamed intelligence agency.
Yeah, that’s what this country really needs right now — a presidential candidate cozy with Russian intelligence. But probably, the rumor is too good to be true.
Of course, there is the Trumpster’s curious, to use a polite word, position on the Russian invasion of Crimea. (Trump’s position to the West seems to be, Crimea river.) And his curious (again) seeming aversion to defending the Baltic nations in case of a Russian pending assault. Last I looked, those nations were part of NATO, but then, the Trumpster seems to consider NATO to be on the same level as Mexican immigrants.
But what is truly perplexing is that FBI Director James Comey, if there is indeed a probe into the Trumpster and the Russians, does not want to tell Congress and the public about it. Mum, mum, mum is the word, word, word.
Comey doesn’t want any mention of the alleged probe to affect the presidential election.
Wait a minute. Say what?
We have an FBI director who doesn’t want to affect the presidential election by any mention of a possible investigation into GOP candidate Trump.
This is the same FBI director who publicly announced a little more than a week ago that he was reopening the Hillary Clinton email investigation because new emails had been discovered, though not on her private server. The emails were discovered on electronic devices belonging to Clinton aide Huma Abedin and her estranged husband, the notorious ex-congressman Anthony Weiner of New York, who apparently has a penchant for sexting.
And, when Comey wrote his letter to Congress, the FBI had no idea what was in the emails. The agency didn’t even get a search warrant for the emails until two days later.
No hypocrisy here. Nothing to see; move along, folks.
Like, say, the assassination attempt against Trump the other day. Except that the guy arrested didn’t have a gun. There never was a gun. There was a Republican with a sign. That didn’t stop the Trump people from calling it an assassination attempt.
Sounds like a joke.
So much does.