Jordan Hansen
There is a scene in Pirates of the Caribbean that will always have a dear place in my heart.
Halfway through the film, Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann are marooned on an island that happens to have an old smuggler cave filled with rum.
Jack and Elizabeth drink no small amount of it, passing out in the process. The scene ends, and the next is a shot of Jack’s face as smoke billows in the background. Elizabeth has decided to burn the contents of the cave in order to attract the attention of the Royal Navy.
She’s also mad at Jack for getting drunk and being a sleaze. The point of the scene is to set up their complicated relationship through the rest of the movie and, really, the series.
There’s a point to this — I promise. On Sunday morning, I wandered over to my girlfriend’s apartment, still a tad delirious from my friend’s birthday the night before and saw she had the movie out.
I turned on the TV and she had apparently not finished it. It was paused a few minutes before the scene I just mentioned.
Watching it again, it started to become a metaphor for the Hawkeyes’ season. There had been a really fun, great night (last season), but in the morning (now) things were different. Reality has set in.
Iowa’s marooned on an island in a sea of lost expectations, and the immediate future is bleak.
After a much-needed bye week, Iowa has to go to State College to play a Penn State team that just upset No. 2 Ohio State. I didn’t get a chance to watch much of the game, but one thing is for certain: Nittany Lion running back Saquon Barkley is incredible.
Along with the rest of an improved Penn State team, it’s no longer looking anywhere close to a winnable game. And oh yeah, it’s at night.
The schedule doesn’t get any easier from there. Michigan looms the week after, with Nebraska also on the late-season slate.
Barring an upset or two, it’s hard to see Iowa winning another game besides, perhaps, Illinois.
Suddenly, Iowa’s at 6-6, and it’s pretty easy to start reminiscing about how much more fun last season was. Those drinks the night before are suddenly starting to sound good again. No wonder Captain Jack can’t fathom why Elizabeth is burning it all, saying, “Why’s the rum gone?”
Perhaps a more apt question for Hawkeye fans: “Why’s the fun gone?”
There’s still a Foster Farms Bowl game to look forward to, I guess. Or maybe a trip to New York or — dear God — Detroit.
Barring a total offensive overhaul during the bye week, this is the situation the Hawkeyes have put themselves in. It’s not what you, me, or anyone else expected, but the Royal Navy isn’t coming to save the Hawkeyes.
They’re going to have to figure out how to do that themselves.