Beau Elliot
So ESPN Radio on early Sunday morning, in describing the Hawkeyes’ magnificent victory over North Dakota State on Sept. 17, moved the University of Iowa to Ames.
No, really. The announcer said it twice in one hour.
I wondered why this burg seemed so much like a cow town on Sept. 17, but now I know: We actually live in Ames. Explains all the extraordinarily literate people on the sidewalks that night.
Well, OK. It definitely was not a magnificent Hawkeye victory over North Dakota State on Sept. 17 (or any other day — maybe if the Hawks had played them on Sept. 16, they would have caught the Bison napping, or grazing, or something). And, of course, we don’t live in Ames. You can tell because we haven’t died of boredom yet.
All of that was Trumpster Land, and we don’t live there, either. (Not just yet, anyway.)
Trumpster Land? you say. Yeah, Trumpster Land. It’s a mythical place, in which America is great again and full of astonishingly beautiful castles, happy white people, magic potions that actually taste good, and lies. Everything’s a lie.
Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? We should all go there; it’s great this time of year, I hear.
Yeah, I know; on Sept. 16 the Trumpster finally said President Obama was born in the United States. Yeah, I know; the vast majority of us had known that for years, Honolulu being the capital of the 50th state.
But for years (five, I believe, but the Trumpster made it seem like forever; he’s good at that, if nothing else, including business), the Trumpster had peddled, espoused, enunciated, snake-oiled the notion that Obama was not born in the U.S. and thus wasn’t eligible to be president. Or even visit the White House, the way the Trumpster seemingly would have had it.
Of course, black slaves built, or helped to build, the White House. As Michelle Obama once said, Every morning I wake up in a house built by slaves, or words to that effect. And, according to Time, seven U.S. presidents owned slaves in the White House: Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Jackson, Tyler, Polk, and Taylor.
Which leads one to wonder, exactly how white is the White House?
The Trumpster, in addition to the birther thing, as it came to be known, also suspected that Obama was a secret Muslim. I’d say it was through veiled comments, but that would be too easy. Also, the Trumpster doesn’t veil his comments in the slightest. Apparently, the Trumpster didn’t muddle his way through the dictionary as far as “subtlety.”
Of course, the Trumpster wasn’t alone living in his birther/secret Muslim nonsense; millions of Americans (almost all white) believed it, too. (Can anyone remember, back when Barack Obama was a Christian, white people hated his pastor. Remember that? Me, neither. Who can remember when Obama was a Christian?)
So it was big news (tempted to say “huuuuuuuuuuuge,” but I won’t) when the Trumpster finally admitted that Obama was, indeed, born in the USA, just like the Bruce.
Of course, the Trumpster being the Trumpster, he had to tack a lie onto that admission: Hillary Clinton, in her 2008 campaign run against Obama, started the whole birther thing.
That is as false as saying the Sun rises in the West. Or that Copernicus postulated that the Earth was the center of the Universe.
It’s a mythical place, Trumpster Land, full of astonishingly beautiful castles, happy white people, and magic potions that actually taste good.