Beau Elliot
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So Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley, under fire for demonstrating in real-life inaction in action on the Supreme Court nomination of Merrick Garland, has responded via Twitter that he’s “doing his job.”

Well, if Iowa farmers followed his example, all their fields would lie fallow.

Meanwhile, back in the olden days, before spring break (but who can remember spring break, let alone the olden days), there was a Republican debate.

Yeah, I know: Never been one of those before.

Actually, the debate wasn’t all that interesting, because the Republican candidates were making nicey-nice, almost as if they were in daycare. I guess that maybe could be considered interesting, because usually the Republican candidates behave as if they’re in daycarenot.

After the debate, the interesting stuff started; Donald Trump held a gala.

Well, actually, the singular Wizard of Trumpster held what was billed as a press conference, but it was outfitted like a gala, complete with products bearing (baring?) Trump’s name. Apparently, the barbs directed at the Wizard’s business experience, or bankruptcies thereof, had started to take hold, like little fish hooks under the skin.

For instance, Mitt Romney said, after a list of what he considered Trump’s failures: “A business genius he is not.” I guess when Romney says you’re not a genius, you’d better pay attention, because Romney is fluent in not being a genius.

So Trump’s press conference had a spread of the Wizard of Trumpster’s wines, Trump steaks, Trump water. (Who knew he owned our water, too? Except for the chemical stew coming out of the faucets in Flint, Michigan, of course, because that is somehow President Obama’s fault, who was born in Kenya and should not ever have been president. He probably shouldn’t have been allowed in the White House as a tourist, black as he is. It’s called the White House for a reason. No wonder the KKK loves Trump, not that he knows what that is.)

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Ah, yes, Trump water. Turns out it’s bottled by Village Springs of Willington Springs, Connecticut, a business owned by the Cassells family started in 1989. It still is owned by the Cassells family. It does distribute its water for private businesses, including, apparently the Wizard’s. Reporters at the gala noted that the label on the water bottles read Village Springs.

And the famous Trump steaks? They once had been distributed through Sharper Image, according to NPR, but are no longer available. Several reporters noted that the packages of the raw steaks set out on display at the “press conference” bore the name Bush Brothers. You may be out of the race, Jeb, but your name is still in the meat of things.

The Wizard of Trumpster wines? The Trump wines put on display at the gala, of whose winery Donald Trump reportedly said, “I own it 100 percent, no mortgage, no debt,” were actually from Trump Winery of Virginia. On its website, after a long page of legalese, it reads, “Disclaimer: Eric Trump Wine Manufacturing LLC, which is not owned, managed, or affiliated with Donald J. Trump, the Trump Organization, or any of their affiliates.”

So, I guess it’s easy to have no mortgage and no debts on something you don’t actually own. I mean, I can pull that off.

Turns out we have the Wizard of Oz here: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.