Their eyes are dead and bloodshot. Their clothes are disheveled, looking war-torn. They cling to their food supply with irrational protectiveness. They trudge around in a sleep-deprived haze.
Though it may sound as if the zombie apocalypse has finally taken over, a much more grim reality has hit the University of Iowa campus — finals week. As we near the end of the torturous academic tradition and you start to clean the Cheeto coloring off your neck, it is time to plan your next step in preparing for the sweet relief of winter break. To help you out, I’ve compiled a list of 10 Things to Do Once Finals Are Over. Warning: List contains elements of spontaneous caroling and property damage.

Thank your roommates, significant other, friends, and anyone else who put up with your psychotic emotional instability in the weeks before exams.

Drop the mike on that class you have despised since Week 2.

Throw your alarm clock out of the window … but only if you’re on the first floor because that could really hurt somebody.

Sell back the textbook that cost you $127 for $15 and cry a little bit.

Use the end of the semester course evaluation as a method of revenge.

Give Mother Nature the “OK” for snow now that you don’t have to walk to class.

Buy five packs of Pillsbury reindeer sugar cookies and eat every one of those delicious little Rudolphs.

Serenade strangers in the mall with “All I Want for Christmas is You,” by Mariah Carey, and fearlessly hit those high notes right in the middle of JCPenney.

Cancel any plans that may interfere with the remaining days in ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas.