Beau Elliot
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As we all know, the Southwest and California are suffering through a major drought. However, there has been no drought in the number of jokes about having a dry sense of humor. Which is to be expected.

What? You didn’t know there was a drought? And what’s the deal with torrential rains and mudslides?

Well, you’re right. California did have some torrential rains and mudslides. But one torrential rain does not a drought end. Just as one snowstorm in Washington, D.C., does not signify the end of global climate change, despite what a certain senator from Oklahoma might think.

(Some would say that a senator from Oklahoma can think is a significant step in evolution, not that they believe in evolution in Oklahoma. Or thinking. I wouldn’t say that, of course. It’s just that “some” would — you know, that vague “they” who hang out at the periphery of everything, even droughts.)

Meanwhile, back at the drought, and the desert, it may come as a surprise to you that, as NPR reports, a Saudi Arabian company named Almarai has bought 15 square miles of desert in Arizona.

What? you say. Saudi Arabia doesn’t have enough desert already?

I’m with you on that. Saudi Arabia seems to have just about enough desert to satisfy anyone’s thirst for deserts. But then, most of what I know about Saudi Arabian geography comes from Lawrence of Arabia, which is an excellent movie but not necessarily a primer in geography.

“Strange times we live in was all the driver had to say.” Which pretty much sums up this world. It’s a line from an old Greg Brown song about a guy hitchhiking across America with his horse. (Yeah, I know. But you know what? Sometimes, you have to let your inner Ionesco run loose for a while. That’s what the universe does.)

Meanwhile, back at Saudi Arabia, Almarai, and the Arizona desert, it appears that the company bought the 15 square miles in order to grow alfalfa.

Huh? Apparently, if you want hay, you grow alfalfa in the desert, because, with enough water, you can get three or four times as much hay from desert land as you can get elsewhere. Or so NPR reports.

But why does Almarai need to buy desert land in Arizona?

Because the Saudis drained all the water in their aquifers growing alfalfa (hay). And they need the hay for their dairies. Arizona has a nice, big aquifer. So, bingo-bango-boom, 15 square miles in Arizona making hay while the Sun shines.

Of course, when hitchhiking with your horse, some problems can arise, and it would behoove you to consider them.

For one thing, aquifers are not endless suppliers of water. (See Saudi Arabia.) And the Almarai wells in Arizona, according to NPR, number around 15, and each can pump approximately 1.5 billion gallons of water. As NPR reports, “… alfalfa is a particularly thirsty crop.”

And now, the Saudi company has moved into Southern California, east of San Diego. Yes, more desert. Yes, more alfalfa. Yes, more water.

Who knew the U.S. would wind up exporting billions of gallons of water (in the form of hay) to Saudi Arabia? And you thought we had a problem with the selection process that made J. Bruce Harreld the president of the UI.

Speaking of hitchhiking with a horse …