Beau Elliot
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You say Benghazi, I say Sham-nazzi, let’s call the whole thing off.

If only we could.

But that would be like stopping the rain today, or engineering the Solar System so that the Sun rises in the West, or meeting a Republican whose sense of logic stretches beyond the Dick and Jane level.

I mean, the Cubs will win the World Series before that happens. And the Israelis and Palestinians will live in peace.

(Nah. The Sun will go nova before that happens.)

The Sun will probably also go nova before congressional Republicans stop having hearings on the tragedy in Benghazi. Most of you were probably in diapers when those hearings started.

OK, I exaggerate. But not by much.

Congressional Republicans (there are Democrats on the committee, too, but they’re there only for window dressing, thus proving that Gertrude Stein was wrong; there is they’re there) recently held the 5,280th congressional hearing on the Benghazi attack. Talk about going the extra mile.

And the result?

Former Secretary of State and current presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared, according to almost every report, presidential. For nine hours straight. Yes, she testified for nine hours. The attack in Benghazi took about three seconds in comparison.

Or as New Republic Senior Editor Jeet Heer reported: “So if the goal was to show that Hillary Clinton is smart as a whip and has remarkable stamina, the hearing was a success.”

The obvious question is, why do Republicans continue to hold congressional hearings on Benghazi to prove some kind of conspiracy when all they prove is that they live on a grassy knoll. Or maybe that’s grassy knowll. That’s how ludicrous it’s become.

And it’s not just people such as me. Even conservative commentators were aghast at the latest edition of “Benghazi: the Whitewater of Our Day.”

As Steve Benen of the Maddow blog reported, even John Podhoretz, one of those conservative writers, observed: “Why doesn’t Pompeo just go over and swear her in for president now — if he goes on like this, he’ll practically get her elected.”

Podhoretz was describing  Rep. Mike Pompeo, R-Kan., attempting to corner Clinton. Turns out, that’s like trying to corner Br’er Rabbit in the briar patch.

Podhoretz wasn’t the only discouraged conservative. Erick described  the hearing as a “waste of time.” The Washington Examiner’s Byron York said the hearing was “very, very good news for Hillary Clinton.”

I’m not a big fan of Hillary Clinton or anything (she’s nowhere near liberal). But the Benghazi-hearings marathon has traveled down the rabbit hole into Alice in Wonderland country.

Congressional Republicans would be much better off holding hearings on when the Sun will go nova and what we can do to stop it.

Answer: 5 billion years, give or take, because a billion here and a billion there, and pretty soon, you’re talking about real time. Just to paraphrase a senator from ancient history.

And what we can do to stop it: Nothing. Kind of like trying to stop the Benghazi hearings.

You say Benghazi, I say Sham-nazzi.