Columbus Day, who remembers that? I mean, we still celebrate Columbus Day?

Well, OK, maybe you remember. Maybe your cognizance of truly important stuff such as Columbus Day is much better than mine. It wouldn’t surprise me, because I forget important stuff all the time, such as that we do, indeed, still celebrate Columbus Day.

If I remember Columbus Day at all, I think of it as Open Season on Killing Native Americans Day.

So why are the banks closed to celebrate that? I mean, that’s celebrating a famous bigot.

Talk about sending the wrong message.

Of course, Americans know about wrong messages. Take the name “American.” It comes from the Italian cartographer Amerigo Vespucci — Americus in the Latin version.

You laugh now; North and South America could have been named after his last name, not his first. In which case, American patriots would be proud to say they are loyal Vespucci-ians. I have to say, I have no idea how to spell that. But but talk about a wrong message.

Maybe the banks could talk to GOP Senate candidate Joni Ernst about wrong messages. She seems to know quite a bit about them.

Oh, I know, her castrating-hogs shtick seemed to work out just fine — it won her the GOP primary for the Senate race, according to many observers (probably none of them bankers who take Columbus Day off). That would be the famous “Let’s make ’em squeal” ad, for those of you with short memories.

But she also has some slap-your-forehead moments in which you look up at the stars (or the rain, these days) and say, She said what?

Take 2013, when Ernst apparently came out in favor of nullification. That’s the process by which states seem to think they can disregard federal laws, which is, of course, unconstitutional. When the Kansas Legislature in 2013 passed a law that basically said federal gun rules didn’t apply to weapons made in Kansas, the Justice Department kindly sent a note (probably via email, because the Post Office was following the banks’ example and was closed) to the Kansas lawmakers, reminding them that their action was unconstitutional.

Now, the Ernst campaign strongly denies that she ever came out in favor of nullification. But not only in 2013 did she seem to support it, she also apparently did in 2012. According to Salon.com, in a 2012 questionnaire, Ernst said she would support “legislation to nullify ObamaCare and authorize state and local law enforcement to arrest federal officials attempting to implement” the health-reform law.

Arrest federal officials attempting to follow the law? This is what she believes? Can we talk coup d’etat?

Last time I looked (OK, it was a while ago, and the banks were closed, so I had nothing else to do), federal officials are supposed to follow the law. It’s when they don’t follow the law that we get into a mess. (Which, to steal a line from No Country for Old Men, will do until the real mess gets here.)

Talk about the real mess getting here.