After an eternal string of Republican "debates," we are left with a serial adulterer (former House Speaker Newt Gingrich), an individual who has a racist past (Rep. Ron Paul), a severely religious Elmer Gantry-miscreant (former Sen. Rick Santorum), and a pathetic excuse for a patriot (former Gov. Mitt Romney).

While Ron Paul is the only bloke left in this fiasco with any sort of military experience, he is also the only one of these four stooges with a rational policy with regard to Iran. The interesting thing about the bomb, bomb, bomb Iran trio of Newtie, Rickie, and Willard (a.k.a. Mittens), is that collectively they have zero military experience. Now, I know that the adulterer will chime in that he was married with two children during the Vietnam War — to which I can attest that married men with children volunteered for combat during World War II.

Santorum brags about his time on the Senate Armed Services Committee. Well then, he should have more prescience about letting two earlier draft dodgers bomb Iraq to hell and back. Who was that benefited from our insane Iraq-policy but Iran and Halliburton? Five-Deferment Deadeye Dickie’s benefactor. Go figure.

And then there is the case of the mysterious candidate who can’t keep from telling how much he loves America and insists on croaking out "America the Beautiful" to us — while he  consistently omits the lines "Till selfish gain no longer stain the banner of the free." If there is one remarkable thing about Willard Romney’s character, it is selfish gain. While this obscenely wealthy individual claims that he has been a success in amassing his obscene fortune, he neglects to honor those who are truly successful human beings, such as Mother Teresa or Norman Borlaug.

This self-centered me, me, me did not come to Willard late in his life. When he was of draft age and his contemporaries where getting killed and maimed in Vietnam, Willard was preaching the gospel of America’s leading theologian, Joseph Smith. While the young men of his generation were slogging through jungles of Southeast Asia, Willard was in the French countryside proselytizing the word according to Joe Smith.

I, for one, am fed up with duplicitous miscreants who have done cartwheels to avoid combat are hell-bent to get us into another godforsaken war. If you think that war is such a good policy, why don’t you try it for a change rather than let our children and grandchildren do the dirty work for your grandiose war-policy. We have yet to pay for the horrific fiasco that former President George Bush lied us into. So Mittens, how are you going to pay for sending our nations youth into another military boondoggle? With a generous tax-cut for your obscene wealth such as the one Newtie assisted in giving you?

Romney often refers to labor-leaders as thugs, the real thugs are candidates for the Republican nomination. We can all give thanks that these pathetic miscreants were to young too serve in WWII.

Don Friedman is a resident of Iowa City.