Ladies, keep your pants on.

Ever since the leaves fell and the nights grew colder, your apparel has shifted to a beloved ’80s classic: leggings. For those of you sporting a “volcanic ensemble” worthy of jazzercising with Molly Ringwald, there is one you’ve missed: a solid piece of clothing.

Without that critical extra material, (a skirt or shorts, perhaps), little is left for the imagination. And not in a good way. Not an inch of bod goes unnoticed by the naked eye. The brighter the color, the more of an arrow pointed to the most unflattering angles of your figure. Not to mention that whole muffin-top effect.

Essentially, winter apparel can be narrowed down to a science. A pair of leggings is a clothing additive to an outfit, not a substitute. They go beneath a skirt or a pair of shorts if it’s mildly chilly weather, or even beneath a dress. The main point is to wear them as a second layer, not the only layer.

You may be “getting physical” like Olivia Newton John at the gym, but if that’s the case, you’ll need a sweatband and cut-up T-shirt to match … and a boom box to blast your favorite Corey Hart songs.

Moral of the story, unless you are sporting a pair of $100 Under Armor tights and running a marathon in the dead of winter, that thin layer of material alone is not doing anyone any good. And I mean anyone.

— by Hanna Rosman