Have you ever wanted to just pack up and leave, and start a new life? Owen McCabe (Paul Schneider), a down on his luck ghostwriter of pseudo-celebrity autobiographies, does just that in How to Lose Your Lover.

McCabe decides that he’s fed up with life in Los Angeles and burns all his bridges on the way out of town. Of course, things don’t work out as planned. In the airport, he meets Val (Jennifer Westfeldt), and the two hit it off. He decides to stay and see how it works out, but he puts her through a series of tests to see if she’s worth his time. McCabe meets Val’s parents on their first date and subjects her to mistreatment by his friends (who include a washed-up former MTV VJ).

When Val passes all of his tests, McCabe doesn’t know what to do. He could stay in the city he hates and finish writing the book he hates even more with former astronaut Bucky (played hilariously by Fred Willard). Or he could go to work for a professor on the East Coast, possibly giving up the romance of his life. What’s a boy to do?

For some reason, this amazingly funny and well-crafted dark romantic comedy was never released in theaters. I don’t know why, because it’s one of the best movies to ever bear the phrase “direct-to-DVD release.” But it’s a good thing it found life on DVD in 2004, because it serves up a valuable lesson to people who want to pack up their lives and skip town: if you decide to piss off all your friends before go, you better make sure you leave for good.

— by Tommy Morgan, Jr.