I admit I am aware of Internet Rule No. 34: “If it exists, there is porn of it.”

I am also aware that it this rule is absolutely true (and if you don’t believe, go ahead and Google Image Search “Rule 34” with the safe-search turned off, go on.)

However, when it comes to Rule 34, there are times I think that perhaps our Internet has finally gone too far.

Case in point: www.Hawkeyehoneys.com.

I was pointed to this site by a friend, one who has that concern-inspiring Internet talent of being far too aware of the latest online adult endeavors (you have one, too), and he assured me it was my one-stop shop for all my local collegiate erotica needs. Now, I’ve no doubt in his own disturbing way said friend was well-intentioned when he told me all about his latest discovery, but me, I’ve got to say that I’m more than a little confused about what to make of it all.

Now, I’m not saying I’ve gone and perused the site’s services, nor do I believe I ever will (not only does the page require a hefty subscription fee, but I feel like even a cursory glance at the content would make going anywhere in this town far too awkward), but the site’s front page does offer up a pretty thorough description of what awaits anyone with enough curiosity and a credit card.

“Back Room Party-Cams,” “Tailgate Tits,” and “Bar Crawlz Gone Bad!” are all advertised as features to be found within, along with a forum in which users can post their own photos and video. Most disturbing however is the section of the sites’ front page that displays an image of three young women accompanied by the unnerving invitation to “Watch them do the Herky Jerky!”

My question, however, is if this is really the classiest way for the people who run this site (who I assume are either current or former Hawkeyes) to show their support for the UI. I know they say all press is good press, but I think there’s a reason they used the word “press” and not “exposure” because one click to Hawkeyehoneys.com, and you can’t help but think the exposure going on there isn’t good for anyone at all.

Furthermore, I worry about how a site such as Hawkeyehoneys could affect our students. Long have city and university officials railed against our image as a “party school” and our weekly downtown bacchanals, and I feel as though the existence of our own school-specific porno site would put a fire under the powers that be to put a more firm kibosh on what goes on around town.

Furthermore I have to wonder about those students who are agreeing to appear in this site’s content — the ones who are actually doing all the “Flashing! Stripping! Licking!” and other adjectives that would do best not to appear in print. I can only wonder if they have really thought through whether showing up on a site such as Hawkeyehoneys.com is the best way to represent themselves or their school and the consequences their Internet fame could have down the road.

The sad thing though is that apparently the site’s gimmick is working. According to a message on Hawkeyehoneys.com’s front page, the website can’t even keep up with its demand — cautioning its enthusiastic visitors that service outages may occur during high-traffic times. What’s more, apparently other schools are suffering from this same problem with sites like HuskerHos, CaliCoeds, TittanyLions, and BuckeyeBabes.coms all apparently trying to make a buck off combining sex and school spirit.

In fact, even the Fighting Illini have their own school-theme adult website, the address of which I refuse to type. For a hint, however, I can tell you the Illini are still doing something, and that word does still start with F, it’s just not “fighting,” so you do the math.

While I can’t understand where the intersection between showing your school spirit and showing it all occurs exactly, much like many things on the Internet part of me wishes there was a way to “un-see” Hawkeyehoneys.com. As I said, I am aware of Rule 34, and I am fully aware that rule quite explicitly provides no exceptions, but I can’t say it doesn’t pain me to see it hit so close to home. Hawkeyehoneys.com, I know it’s actually part of your ad campaign, and I know you probably don’t care if I say it, but I can’t help but feel that the things on your website, well, really suck.