There exists within me a great contradiction.

I’m a student journalist, but I’m deeply uncomfortable inconveniencing others. I’m reserved and introverted by nature, but over the past three years I’ve reached out to countless sources over email, phone, social media, and — my personal favorite — cold turkey in public spaces. It’s hard for me to do a lot of things, but time after time I find myself doing them anyway.

I knew upfront that a job at The Daily Iowan was going to be a leap of faith. I had the rare privilege of knowing that writing was what I wanted to do for as long as I could remember, but rarer still is the ability to turn that passion into sustainable employment. I applied sophomore year, not knowing exactly what my life might look like if I got the position.

I wouldn’t call it low-stakes, but I got the sense that arts reporter was likely one of the least stressful roles the DI offered. It wasn’t the minefield of politics, the perpetual onslaught of news, or the intense grind of sports. Better still, I would be writing about something I liked: art.

Throughout the application process, I tried not to think about that other shoe — the fact that I was signing up for a job that required more talking to strangers than any position I had previously held. I remember feeling overwhelmed during those first few pitch meetings, wondering why exactly I had voluntarily chosen to put myself up to this.

Slowly but surely, things got better. Whenever I managed to look past my anxiety, I realized that my job — meeting artists and telling their stories — was really cool. I don’t think I’ve ever not felt at least a little anxious before interviewing a source, but centering myself on this fact always helped.

My level of excursion outside the comfort zone ebbed and flowed throughout my time at The Daily Iowan. I found solace in reviews, not just for their editorial nature but because of my deep passion for film, but other times I took that leap of faith once more and really tried to challenge myself. Last year, I even got away with writing a real news story.

I wish that I could streamline my experience into a clear thesis about rejecting comfort zones entirely. I wish that I didn’t struggle to face unease and uncertainty, even still. Even as I write this there remains a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realize that my life post-graduation is yet another massive question mark.

All I can do is hope I’ve collected enough evidence that I’ll be okay. I’ve taken leaps, made mistakes, learned, and moved on. Even if it remains difficult to take those leaps, I’ve proven that I can and that, more importantly, I must continue to do so.

I’m grateful for my time at The Daily Iowan, and not just for these reasons. I’m grateful for my colleagues, for the direct line to the Iowa City arts scene I’ve enjoyed, and for all the cool and scary things I’ve seen and learned.

Excuse me while I go take another leap of faith.