The first 70-degree day of March has rolled around, which marks the beginning of the race to spring. Sources — me — are saying this is one of the best times of the year, rivaled only by its bigger sister, summer. The temperature is also an indicator that March and all of its sports antics have finally kicked off, including the long-awaited March Madness.
I must be honest; I am not a basketball fan, and I know nothing about the sport. Yes, I played throughout middle school and into high school. However, I don’t think I ever actually fully watched a professional basketball game until I came to the University of Iowa and watched the infamous Hawkeyes vs. University of Connecticut game.
Making a March Madness bracket is something that I have excitedly done for the past three years, especially after I had Connecticut winning the men’s bracket in 2023 and becoming the champion of my family’s bracket competition.
What’s more fun for me is finding the most absurd ways to make my bracket. You’ve heard of choosing based on the colors or selecting the best mascot, but I do it differently. When I had the UConn men taking the whole tournament, I held my hand over both teams and chose the team that made my hand warmer. Psychotic, I know.
This year, I’ve avoided spoilers that could taint my March Madness experience. I haven’t read any national articles telling me how teams are doing, and I haven’t checked any scores or standings. I have decided I’m going to make my picks based on which has a funnier justification for being chosen.
Also, I must issue a disclaimer for my dear reader; the brackets are not and will not be confirmed until Sunday evening, so in an effort to make my bracket as accurate as possible, I did look at an ESPN mock first-round bracket so I would at least have some teams to choose from.
The bracket is certainly subject to change after this Selection Sunday, so don’t take my word as professional opinion. Also, this is the men’s bracket, but fear not, I will be making my women’s bracket when Selection Sunday rolls around.
To kick everything off with two of the number one seeds, I have Duke winning over Montana. Although my best friend goes to school in Montana, Duke is the school EJ was being pushed toward in “High School Musical: The Musical: The Series,” which is why it must be chosen.
I also have Michigan winning over Long Island. Michigan has bred some of my favorite and least favorite hockey players, and as a hockey-lover myself, this one takes the cake. Also, in Grutter v. Bollinger, Justice Clarence Thomas said, “Michigan has no compelling interest in having a law school at all, much less an elite one,” which always makes me giggle. However, Camp Half-Blood from “Percy Jackson” being located on Long Island was a close second.
Now, I’m gonna rip off a Band-Aid that’s going to sting. I have Iowa falling to Utah State. Although I do have a deep connection to Iowa, it’s just not silly enough. As for Utah State, the Utah Mammoth lost by five points and was shut out by the Minnesota Wild on March 10. I’m still riding that high, so Utah is on my mind.
Next, I have Vanderbilt taking charge of High Point University. In “Legally Blonde,” one of my favorite movies, Warner Huntington III’s brother is engaged to a woman with the surname Walker-Vanderbilt, making it the more interesting school.
I have the mighty, third-seeded Alabama falling to its not-so-close neighbor, Troy University, because one of my friends from the first semester of my freshman year of college is dating a lovely man named Troy.
Wisconsin is also going to come out victorious, and although I am from the Badger State, that is not the reason I selected it. When I was in high school, there was a guy in my class obsessed with Wisconsin, even though he wasn’t from the state, and honestly, the self-made pride lit a fire of inspiration within me.
UConn is once again going to move forward in the race for the championship. Nothing beats me choosing them over everyone else simply because they hypothetically made my hand the warmest when selecting teams to win in 2023.
Finally, Louisville takes the cake over Missouri, simply because my roommates and I got into a particularly heated argument over the correct pronunciation of the city. I maintain the idea that it is Loo-ee-ville rather than just Loo-ville. Thus, they move forth.