Ada Calhoun is a bestselling nonfiction author from Saint Marks Place, New York. She had previously worked as a crime reporter for the New York Post and a theater listings editor for New York Magazine. Her last book, “Also a Poet: Frank O’Hara, My Father, and Me,” was rated one of the Best Books of 2022 by The New York Times and NPR. Her latest release, “Crush,” has been deemed one of the most Anticipated Books of 2025 by The Washington Post, Time, and Vulture.
What drove you to work in nonfiction?
I am just really curious. I liked journalism as an excuse to have different experiences and to talk to everybody I wanted to talk to. Nothing has been strategic. “Why We Can’t Sleep” came out of a story I wrote about sad Gen X women because I was a sad Gen X woman. The memoir about my dad came up because I tried to do a biography that he started in the ‘70s, and I failed and wound up writing about our relationship instead because he was dying. It just happens. I follow the story wherever it goes.
What inspired “Crush”?
I had a few hard years in my mid-forties where I dealt with the death of my father and a divorce and a lot of other people in my life who were dying or going through crises. I wanted to make something out of it and process it in a somewhat fun way. I thought making a romance novel out of it would be the most satisfying way to deal with all that stuff and work from it.
How would you describe the concept of love in the book?
The narrator explores this question throughout the book and decides love is a verb. It’s something you do. It’s not abstract or martyrdom, she learns. Like me, she was a Gen X good girl teacher’s pet who was doing everything for everyone, and she comes to find out that there is not necessarily any pride in sacrificing herself. That is not what love is.
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What do you think of The New York Times calling the book “A Polyamory Novel for Generation X”?
When my editor bought the book, she said people would have strong feelings about it because it asks many questions and holds up a mirror. People who read it will have that experience of thinking about their relationships. I think it’s kind of funny, there are a lot of reviews and pans. I’m along for the ride, I think it’s fascinating. It is whatever everybody says it is, right? Once you write something and put it out in the world, it’s not yours anymore. It belongs to everyone else, and they can do what they want to. Every book winds up changing your life in some way. It’s always about trying to stay open to what’s going to happen, what’s going to be.
Are you affected by negative comments?
You need to decide whose opinion matters. It’s just a reminder that not everything is for everybody. I was due for a lot of negative comments because I was a critic. It’s just gonna be part of the process. I think that it’s always interesting to see how people react to things you write, but it can’t determine how you feel about it.
What is the best piece of advice you can give to prospective writers?
The only thing you can control is what you’re doing. We’re all in the same game, the same boat. We need to help each other and read and write a lot. Just writing a book is a huge achievement, so support matters.