“Keep chipping away.” 

Those were the words of Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz after Saturday’s game when describing the Hawkeyes’ gradual improvement on offense. Well, if Iowa really is chipping away, then the progress it made would look no different than the divot near the goal line at Wrigley Field. 

Or a better way of putting it, Iowa attempts to evolve its offense by taking a pocket knife to a California Redwood tree: a fruitless effort that can only be noticed if you squint hard enough. 

Taking out my magnifying glass, I can gauge that Hawkeye quarterback Deacon Hill looked better than in recent weeks but is still not close to being an average Division I starter. This marginal improvement could also be applied to the ground game, as Iowa averaged 2.5 yards per rush on Saturday compared to 0.4 yards per attempt against the Gophers. 

So yes, Iowa’s offense avoided being a complete dumpster fire and instead settled for being the hand-me-down automobile of three generations: not going anywhere fast, but reaching the destination if absolutely necessary. 

The Hawkeyes reached the end zone just once, and even that was due to Anterio Thompson’s blocked punt that set Iowa up inside the thirty-yard line. Amassing three three-and-outs, Iowa’s longest drive at the Friendly Confines was 41 yards. 

Yet when it came down to the clutch, Hill and the offense drove the 37 yards down the field and into the brink of field goal range for Drew Stevens’ game-winner. Playing conservatively with four runs and two passes, Iowa placed more confidence in its kicker than its offense in not turning the ball over on more aggressive plays. 

With 169 total yards of offense, the Hawkeyes couldn’t move the pigskin as far as former Cub and White Sox player Sammy Sosa could hit a baseball. Could steroids be the solution to Iowa’s offensive struggles? I’m joking. 

The cure, in all seriousness, is … not going to happen this season. Fans, including myself, may call for a change under center, but doing so is like talking to the wind. Hill is not going to be taken out unless he’s hurt or somehow racks up four turnovers by halftime. Backup Joe Labas appears to be everyone’s answer, but the sophomore is apparently now the third-stringer behind true freshman QB Marco Lainez. I don’t know if this means Labas just never fully recovered from that shoulder injury in the spring, or if his performance in practice is really that bad, but either way, I’ll take Hill over Lainez simply due to experience, albeit limited. 

And still, the injury bug bites Iowa once again, as starting offensive linemen Logan Jones, Mason Richman, and Rusty Feth all went down due to injury against the Wildcats. With that trio, as well as backup guard Beau Stephens’ statuses unclear, Hill may be behind a new-look front five next week. The last thing Lainez would need in his first start would be an inexperienced line protecting him. 

In what was a very unusual week for the program culminated in a very normative Iowa victory. Defense and special teams carried the weight of an awful offense in an ugly victory. I might as well copy that sentence and save it for later this season. 

Regardless of who is at quarterback, Iowa will keep running the ball more than sixty percent of the time and rely on pinning its opponents deep in their own territory to set up easier drives for the offense. Will that formula work against Rutgers, Illinois, and Nebraska is anyone’s guess, but it’s worth noting that the respective strategies of Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Nebraska, all proved unsuccessful against inferior competition. 

Now, I’m not saying Iowa is the better team, but according to the Big Ten West standings, the Hawkeyes find themselves atop a bumbling bunch and are set to control their own destiny in their last-best chance to reach Indianapolis with a division title. 

Of course, Iowa was in the same scenario two weeks ago, and we all know how that turned out. So please, don’t get your hopes up. I’ve been saying all year how this season is hanging on by a thread, and with skill, luck, and circumstance, the Hawkeyes have fused that thread to make it last a little longer. 

As Ferentz said postgame, November is the most important month of the college football season, and Iowa will spend its last three games whittling away at the Redwood of its offensive ineptitude. It’s not going to be pretty, or even worthwhile, but might be the perfect distraction as the team heads into an unfamiliar forest of a 2024 season.