Elliot: Samsung or the Trumpster?


Beau Elliot, [email protected]

Is Donald Trump actually a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphone? You know, the one Samsung had to recall millions of because it kept melting down?

Well, probably not. Our knowledge of alien life is not sophisticated enough to know whether an alleged human being is a smartphone or not.

It’s a pity, but there we are. We would like to see his birth certificate, though — the long form. That’s the least we could request, given the Trumpster’s many years of claiming President Obama was not really an American, that he was born in Kenya. And, I believe, insinuated that Obama was secretly a Muslim.

Not that I believe there’s anything wrong with secretly being a Muslim. Given the bigoted hate culture going around this country like a pernicious flu — perhaps more like TB — were I Muslim, I’m not sure I’d want to advertise in banner headlines on Facebook that I was a Muslim.

Reality is as reality does.

In the reality as most of us know, however feebly that might be — just ask cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman (who has said, quite intelligently, though that might appear oxymoronic, “Quantum mechanics says that classical objects, including brains, don’t exist.”

(That one sentence doesn’t begin to describe what Hoffman has to say; you have to delve much deeper into his writing to start to understand. For instance, Hoffman also says, “As a conscious realist, I am postulating conscious experiences as ontological primitives, the most basic ingredients of the world. I’m claiming that experiences are the real coin of the realm.” [Quotations from Quanta, April 21.])

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, meaning, in the reality that most of us know, however feebly that might be, we all know that the Trumpster (doesn’t this seem pedestrian after Hoffman?) is not a Samsung Galaxy Note 7. Or any other kind of smartphone. He might be some kind of phone. I’m voting for rotary dial.

As we all know, the Trumpster has been wandering in the wilderness of deep doo-doo recently, after his comments about his abiding, grand love for women surfaced in a video/audio on Oct. 7, courtesy of the Washington Post.

“Abiding, grand love,” of course, are euphemisms for the words he actually said, but we all know those words, and most of us don’t use them (and certainly not the actions that he described; but then, as he said, he’s a hugely rich star, so he gets away with anything). Though the “anything” here amounts to sexual assault.

That’s the thinking it seems a fair number of rich boys believe: They can get away with anything. But maybe not this time for the Trumpster (although all the outrageous lies he has prattled so far seemingly haven’t mattered).

Republicans, especially the GOP leadership, seem to be bolting the sinking Trumpster mega-yacht. Not meaning to mix metaphors (but doing so anyway), some observers have described the phenomenon as a stampede of elephants, though I wouldn’t want to insult elephants that way.

And House Speaker Paul Ryan has said he will not defend the Trumpster but will work to protect the GOP majority in the House. Even the Trumpster’s running mate, Mike Pence, has pulled away from the Big Ster.

During the Sunday debate, the Trumpster attempted to blame his actions with women on former President Bill Clinton, because, of course, anything Bill Clinton did wrong would be Hillary Clinton’s fault.

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