The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

Elliot: No clue, like the flu

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Beau Elliot
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In Burma, now Myanmar, apparently the army representatives in its equivalent of Congress walked out after a vote didn’t go their way because, as a representative told BBC Radio, the army was being “bullied” by those in favor of democracy.

The army, of course, had ruled the country for many more decades than most of us can remember in an iron-fisted dictatorship. Perhaps stainless-steel-fisted.

It’s always Ionesco-style humorous when former dictators, especially in the military, whine about being “bullied.” No fair, you kicked sand in our faces, say the former sand-kickers.

It’s rather like Dick Cheney, the former Stealth President, complaining about being accidently shot in a friendly hunting party. (See Cheney, Harry Whittington, Feb. 11, 2006. Or don’t. But you’ll miss something. Cheney didn’t.)

Meanwhile, on the home front, rumors that Republicans are blocking spring until after the next presidential election so that the American people have a voice about whether they want spring or not are probably just that: rumors.

Likewise, the whispers that Donald Trump bought several metric tons of Saskatchewan winter weather cheap, installed them here, and will keep them here until the Republicans give him the nomination are also probably not true.

We’d like to believe the weather stuff is true because he’s, well, the Trumpster, and it just sounds as though it could be true. That’s one of the problems with being a blustery blowhard — people are more than willing to believe just about anything.

Also, we believe it because he’s rich enough to buy weather. Most of the rest of us had no clue that weather was for sale like so much real estate or unreal estates.

So much no clue going around like the flu.

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And so we should regard with several metric tons of French sea salt rumors that Trump is building condos on the Moon for the next great leap into space. I have to admit, I thought it would take rockets to get to the Moon again, not leaps, but apparently, I am leaps and bounds behind the newest tech. (Suppress your giggles.)

The problem is, rumors say on the usual hush-hush, the windows on the Trump condos leak air, which is something of a problem on the Moon. Especially if you live there.

One of those most upset is Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Craters of the Moon, who had thought the Moon was his territory. Cruz is also one of those experts about leaking air.

Problems with Trump family housing developments is nothing new, which of course comes as a major surprise to those who don’t listen to Woody Guthrie. The great American singer/songwriter (think “This Land is Your Land,” which he meant in ways right-wingers will never understand) rented from Trump’s father, Fred, in the early 1950s. And Guthrie believed that not only was the elder Trump a terrible landlord, he was also a horrible bigot about black Americans. Guthrie wrote a song about Fred Trump and his racist ways, so we can relive those grand old party ways.

It could be, as the cliché goes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But I don’t think anyone would accuse Trump of being an apple. Given his hyper-modern hairstyle, an orange, maybe.
Or maybe a sand-kicker.

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